So today is the day. In a matter of hours I will be boarding a plane and flying away from Australia. Roughly twenty four hours later I will arrive in London.
I don’t know how often I will update this blog for the two months and a bit that I am gone, if I do have a chance I will try. That said it will probably be short just like this post. Blame my lack of commitment or the fact that writing a long post using an iPhone is slightly painful.
So until next time.
I wonder if you’re listening
Picking up on the signals
Sent back from within
Sometimes it feels like I don’t really know what’s going on
Time and time again it seems like everything is wrong in here
‘Last Train Home - Lostprophets’
Well continuing from my last post things didn’t go so well. Since taking the course of action I chose I have spoken to said person once… and the news was bad. In short the reply was:
Actually that isn’t it in short - that was practically the whole conversation.
Go me.
For those who have been reading my blog semi-consistently you really should have seen a topic developing. If you haven’t don’t even bother reading further. This is all the introduction this post will get - from here on in it jumps straight into the metaphorical deep end. Even though there isn’t really anything truly deep about this post at all.
Way on down where they’ve been forgotten
City just sinking with the whole world watching
Wading waste deep in water, living on my roof in the land of forgotten
Hey, to the deaf giant with the big muscles why ya moving so slow
Con, conquer and dividing, hole in the bucket got nothing to show
‘Gov Did Nothin’ - John Butler Trio’
For a while now I have been thinking about the topic of alcohol. For some reason a lot of people seem to see getting piss faced (drunk, smashed, wasted, pissed - etc) as fun. I simply don’t understand this attraction. Personally I only drink for social reasons - if it weren’t for that I wouldn’t drink at all. Even when I do drink I don’t get drunk. I simply don’t see the point.
Think of it this way a binge: is expensive (generally), bad for your health (long term damage), potentially dangerous (alcohol does impair your decision making abilities) as well as leaving you feeling terrible the next day. I understand that alcohol can lead to some fun times but there is nothing attractive in someone vomiting - or other things like that.
Ah well, in the end it is the individuals choice - I’m not going to go and stop people doing what they want.
I just find it a little bit sad.
Do you believe you’re missing out?
That everything good is happening somewhere else
But with nobody in your bed
The night is hard to get through
‘Jesus Christ - Brand New’
For those who have read my last post you may recall my idea of not rushing into making the same mistake twice. Well the idea was put into my head… to do something very similar to my original mistake (not that it was really a mistake but it didn’t end well). That’s right - practically doing the opposite of what my last post was thinking. My problem is the allure of this idea working out and playing out well is just so… well alluring. Even if it does go badly I will at least have certainty - I hope. That said it can also have more wide spread ramifications for me. For example a great volume of awkwardness - possibly resulting in a damaged friendship. That is a worst case scenario, or at least its the worst case I can think of.
If only I had the time to wait this out (not that waiting it out would help - at all). Problem with waiting is that I am going to be travelling in less than a month now - and I get the feeling that leaving this till after I get back will doom it completely. Yet if somehow I can magically get things to work out before I go - I for one am happy to put in effort to make it work out on a longer term (not as in a long long term but longer than the time I will be away). Problem is I don’t know if the other party is even aware of my thoughts on the matter - or that I believe there is something to think about at all. Even if the said party is interested I don’t know if they are prepared to put in effort to try and make it work out.
Hypothetically if they are interested, I hope they would try and work it out. Anyhoo - that’s enough of me publishing my problems for everyone to see.
Ever now and again my head gets filled with bad, stupid or just plain ridiculous ideas. The problem is I still want to try these ideas out on the very small chance that they will work out. A small sliver of hope that makes me almost prepared to go on a plan of action that will most likely lead me to unhappiness - or something to that extent. Still I suppose trying the ideas even if they fail is a victory (in some small way). See you will then know conclusively that it was a bad idea - that it didn’t work out.
Then hopefully you can learn from your mistakes. I say hopefully as some people just don’t have the good sense to do something so simple as not repeating the same mistake twice. At the moment I think that unfortunately I may be one of these people. Still in the hopes of protecting myself I may just play it slow for a little bit. Play it by ear as they would say. That said it isn’t easy to play it by ear through the distance. So unless events change I suppose I shall be waiting until an event in the upcoming future. Then I shall attempt to use that to decide my next move.
Until then I have to wait and hope that I have chosen the right plan of action. In the end if it turns out that the right plan of action, was no plan of action then that door isn’t completely closed for me yet. Hopefully though I will get a ’sign’ that will allow me to move forwards without waiting - cause waiting isn’t very much fun at all.
For my sweetheart the melancholic
You have crossed the River Styx
And the waves have taken you away
‘Biko - Bloc Party’
Right now I am exhausted. For some reason my body didn’t seem to want to sleep last night - until some time after four am. Then I had to wake up to go to work. On a sidetrack here, I am starting to think that you shouldn’t be allowed to work full time until at least the age of twenty one. Its just cruel.
Backtracking.
The most ridiculous part of my exhaustion is that by the time I am going to bed I will no longer be tired. Luckily for me I do have a day off tomorrow, always nice even if I do get bored sometimes. See I need things to do. Unfortunately the weather is unpredictable and my main and most easily accessible group of friends are mainly good for night time activities. Things during the daytime either need pre-planning or almost all of us there to be good. So I am mostly left to my own devices as they would say.
Now comes the part where I involve you my ever more silent audience - the few people who I sincerely hope are reading this. That said there has to be people seeing this as I get a rough five page views a day… averaged that is. That said a lot of them are thanks to google and one post in specific that I wrote a while back now. The point is I hope there is one or two steady readers. It would absolutely make my day if somebody left me a comment - please. I can keep talking to what feels like a darkened room but a response would always be nice.
In other news - I shall draw this post to an end. At the rate I am going I may even manage to have a new post tomorrow. I feel so proud of myself. Hurrah.
You have no home, you lost your throne, where has it gone?,
Well it could all come back,
But you’re being led by the walking dead,
You stumble and you cracked the ground,
You’re pinned down…
‘Hello Again - Lostprophets’
So another weekend ends. It was fun overall - but not really what I wanted it to be. Do you understand what I mean? There wasn’t anything really that wrong with it, but it didn’t go how I wanted it to. I had lots of fun, some good times. Yet I wish things could have gone slightly differently.
I don’t quite know what to think or how to proceed. I am probably just being foolish, probably just making the same mistakes I have before… but still. Some things seem inconsistent, in normal circumstances I don’t have great insight - but in this case I have no hope (not as in no hope of success, no hope of understanding).
However I have to watch my words here lest I give the wrong impression. Or even the wrong idea completely. In the past I think miscommunication from this blog has worked against me, something I don’t want happening again.
In other news - today I saw Funny People. From what people were saying about it I thought it would be terrible, it wasn’t that bad. Not the funniest but it wasn’t anywhere near as bad as it could have been. Also (a completely different topic here), when I started this blog I intended to make it a ‘humour blog’ - obviously I gave up on that. That said my original intention was to develop pseudo fake characters to populate my posts with. These characters would only be pseudo fake as they were going to be based around people and events in my life. I may try it out later on.
After all someone suggested that I should.
Somewhere in the night there’s a light in front of me
Heaven up above with a shove, abandons me
And even though I try I fall in the river of you
You’ve managed to bring me down too
‘(Can’t Get My) Head Around You - Offspring’
Last night I went into the city with my friends. This meant it was a Saturday. We had a basic plan, we went to a pub called Paddy’s where those who were drinking had Guinness (not me as I had to drive). Then we moved on to the Three Wise Monkeys. If you live in Sydney you should know this one - it has the statuesque thing above the door of see no evil, speak no evil, hear no evil. This is where things started going a little awry.
See normally my group of friends is the youngest by only one or two years; last night in the upstairs section with the music and space for ‘dancing’ this wasn’t the case. See the average age was around 40. Basically a whole heap of old (relative to us - not talking about senior citizens here) women dancing. This would be a cougar hunters dream - yet none of my friends are cougar hunters… I think. So we finished our drinks - which might I add were unique. Has anybody reading this had Campari? One of my friends has decided he likes Campari and lemonade… I really don’t understand why (that said I would say it tastes better than the double scotch that my other friend had).
After a short break for eating purposes we headed towards what should have been the nights highlight - Purple Sneakers. What we didn’t take into account was that it was an RnB night. That changed things. The place was nearly empty and of the few people that were there half were wearing black or white face paint, costumes or something like that. Also they changed the drinks they were serving - so there was no delicious purple punch.
So we decided to walk and find somewhere else. We did a lot of walking. The were more misadventures here but I wont go into detail. It is too painful. Eventually we just went into the ‘Star Bar’, it was good enough I suppose.It may however have left me with permanent hearing damage.
In conclusion this story does have a moral - if your going into the city - do it on a Friday night.
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