WorldOfIllusion

A pulsating throb, coming and going continuously. A blunt pain reaching from the back of your head… tendrils snaking forth into your conscious mind.

That is how my head feels right now.

You want to know the depressing bit? Tomorrow I will wake up – and go to work. I like having income… but working is such a pain. In the end its how the world works I guess. Also it may simply be that I have grown more aware… but to me the world seems to be deteriorating.

Bad things happen. A lot. People seem to be more and more messed up. There is aggression, violence and recently the whole global economic crisis. Simmering tensions with North Korea, war in Iraq and Afghanistan. Torture, air strikes killing civilians, terrorism – in the not to distant future super soldiers hopped up on performance enhancing drugs.

What is the world coming to?

In my mind I kind of see this as the end times… not saying there will be an apocalypse. Just it seems that there will be a sort of cleansing by fire sometime in my life. Either that or the world will just degrade further.

Maybe even its as I mentioned before – the world has always been like this. Maybe I simply never noticed it before. Ah well. In the end I will just keep going on living… from one week to the next. That’s how I’m getting by at the moment – working on a week by week basis.

I look forward to my weekend and my long term goal of travel. I busy myself with entertainment (Fallout 3), and simply keep my mind away from certain troublesome issues. Like my fear of death, any and all women problems and what ever else is bothering me. Here’s to hiding all your problems in a box and not dealing with them.

Hurrah.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t go for horoscopes… star signs… or pretty much any of that stuff. That said I do kind of have a superstitious side… like I wouldn’t mind being an organ donor but I won’t sign up for it yet. Feels too much like tempting death. Same kind of idea as I wouldn’t get life insurance.

Then again that’s kind off simply an offshoot of Murphy’s law. Well my version of it at least.

In other news.

One thing that interests me in a way is how people see things. As in do we all experience life in the same way? I don’t think we do. I mean there are so many factors – our intelligence for a start. Then you go into other things, mental conditions, physical conditions. A whole range of things that will greatly change your little window looking into the big wide world.

The offshoot of this is how do we feel emotions? Do we feel anger in the same way, happiness, sadness, fright? Here’s the real frustrating bit. I don’t think we can ever know for sure. We may try and explain it but words are tied to our experience. We understand language by knowing what it implies – as in we understand what pain is as we have experienced pain. Thus if we feel things differently, then the meaning of the word will be slightly different.

Now that’s something to think about. Hope you all enjoyed this half baked collection of ideas and thoughts – I sure did.

When I write poetry what I try and go for is something that makes you shiver. Not as in it makes you cold… just that it makes you shiver. Kind of a strange concept, still. The idea is that I want the words, the images – and ideas created to be ‘strong’ enough – that you read them and just think ‘wow’. Or as I do, you can ‘shiver’. Unfortunately it is hard to get this effect more than once (in a set time period). See when I read something I haven’t for a while I can get the power of it… but if I read it again straight after, it isn’t nearly as good.

An idea I seem to play with a lot is the personification of death. Even in a poem that may not seem to be about death can change and twist. There is a specific poem I have in mind here, however I wont show you as it is around one hundred and twenty lines long. Basically it starts in a riot, not necessarily a riot though – rather something chaotic. Then it turns… Death is personified and becomes the topic, this then leads up to the final conclusion. See there is another twist here. The poem turns to a discussion between death and yourself (the reader), whereas at first it was a discussion about death. The narrator of the poem is actually Death himself, in a way. That poem makes me shiver.

Looking further into my own writings I came across the first poem I really ‘wrote’. I must have written poetry before – but only because I had to, never by choice. According to my computer I have been writing poems for a little under three years now. That said I don’t write much poetry nowadays.

I need a new muse.

Also has anyone read The Book Thief? If you havn’t you really should. It too personifies Death. After all he is the narrator of the entire story.

As much as people have whined and complained about the album Minutes to Midnight by Linkin Part… I like it. The music is good for inspiring my writing (not saying I only listen to this one album, actually I rarely listen to Linkin Park). It gets the mood going. All that said I still need to find some new music to listen to. I want some new stuff to listen to – something like Number One Gun, Amberdeen, Go Robo Go and maybe even a hint of something like Duck Radio. Some good, small time music. Local talent is always nice.

Also does anyone know a band called ‘The Getaway Plan’? Well I like their music – unfortunately they are doing their final tour at the moment. I’m hoping to get down to Melbourne for one of their shows… see them before they disband.

Also.

One talent/skill I wish I had is the ability to sing, or play an instrument well. I know I could learn to play an instrument… chances are I won’t. At one stage I was learning to play the keyboard, I enjoyed being able to play to the small extent that I could… but I didn’t really enjoy learning. Nowadays I can’t really play at all. I can’t read the music any more. See that was another problem, I can’t read music. In a way I could tell when I made a mistake cause it didn’t sound right, but that’s not a big skill. I think most people can hear a mistake.

A little while ago a friend of mine made a joke that I would have to learn an instrument for next year. See that way I would be a perfect uni kid – living on campus and playing an instrument. I think I should just stick to whistling…

In other news making my title say what it says wasn’t easy. It kept thinking that it was actual code, so it made it invisible. I found a way to go around that though.

Hope you all enjoyed the video.

Do you fear death? I sure do. My plan is to live long enough that there will be technology available to prolong our lives. Sure this plan is kind of dependent on outside sources… and probably won’t work.

Also you have to consider cryogenic solutions… for example. It doesn’t try to preserve you now – but it tries to leave you in a state that possible future technology could revive you. Depending on your religious views you may not consider this ‘ethical’ or ‘right’. As for me – I don’t know. What I know is that if I had the option to have my body preserved in such a way – at this point in time – I would. Not saying I would freeze myself now, yet I would have my body frozen (when dead/right at deaths door).

Depending on how it all pans out you may just then wake up in the future… and not notice the time gap. Personally if this whole thing works I think that’s how it would go. While frozen you couldn’t dream – there would be no thought processes.

In the end its just something to think about. Hopefully I won’t need to consider anything like that seriously for quite a while yet.

Do any of my readers happen to be experts at using the wc3 world editor? If you had to look up what that was you are not an expert by the way…

In other news.

Well I dont really have anything inspiring to say here. Life is quiet – nothing that I need to share as a cathartic measure to help myself. In reality this entry here isn’t so much out of wanting to write, or even having something to write… rather I am writing now as I need to keep this blog active.

Activity is important – convinces people that the blog isn’t dead. Which it isn’t.

Also – any people reading this that have blogs of their own. Are you interested in link sharing?

Today I did something I haven’t done in a while – spent some time with my cousin. Not saying I only have one but I spent time with one in particular. See this cousin is only a year younger than me really – and as children we were close. As time went on we drifted apart a little – still there are times like today when we reminisced and discussed our lives.

Days like today do leave me slightly nostalgic. Life looks so much easier looking back. There wasn’t so much petty drama – well there was i’m sure, I simply don’t remember it. That’s how our minds work I guess, we remember the good times much more easily than we remember the bad. In a way its a very simple examination of our self preservation. We are hard wired to live.

That said living in the animalistic term is more about the long term – not just the individual life but the continuation of your specific DNA. Survival of the fittest for all you Darwinian people.

Quick question here, does anybody reading this play Warcraft III, The Frozen Throne? More specifically custom maps on battlenet?

For starters here I think recently some people may have been misinterpreting some things on this blog. If you feel you might be one of those people, save all of us the trouble and just ask. Really – it is the simple option. Just the other day someone did that exactly, they asked and I was more than happy to explain to them.

So everybody who feels they may have been mentioned, feel special for this truly is a momentous occasion. Not really.

Still, I don’t feel particularly inspired to write – maybe some other time I will tell you all about Terminator Salvation. Until then – cheers…

News travels fast. It really does. Sometimes ridiculously fast, so fast it leaves me thinking ‘what just happened’. If we could step it up (speed wise) just a little bit… it would practically be a hive mind.

Not really but still.

The exchange of information from person to person is quite an amazing yet simple thing. It may not seem it but if you think about it… you might be surprised. Still as useful as this exchange can be, in our personal lives I think it can be a downside at times.

The exchange of information is killing mystery, suspense and even in a way our secrets. Well the secrets bit really depends on who knows the secrets… in the right hands they can be protected carefully. Yet in the wrong hands they can be thrown to the wind – scattered like seeds.

Another problem with this exchange of information is that sometimes the whole story doesn’t get exchanged, instead only a part of it does. Think of this “Harry hit a ball to Tommy’ if you lose just three words, seven characters you get a very different story ‘Harry hit Tommy’. This of course is a very basic and simple example – but it is basically the core idea I am getting at.

In the end I think you need to make sure that you go to the source. That way you can know what is really going on.