WorldOfIllusion

My blog has always gotten some level of spam. Luckily for me though I’m protected by Akismet. Still I do look through the spam just to check - and I have to say it’s all really really terrible.

See the spam is either;

1. A collection of links (many of which aren’t written properly).
2. It’s in another language.
3. Finally spam that’s English, yet grammatically it is so retarded you wonder how anyone could ever fall for it.

Of course there’s other spam but those three are the most common for me. Here is the main part of my message though: Spammers… get smarter. Really, it’s boring having all of this cruddy spam. Give us some good spam, make it interesting. Another hint here; spammers - when you put in an email address it would probably help if it wasn’t 20 characters long or so. Just a suggestion.

Also I recently joined a site called Blog Storm. So if you could all click that link and vote for my posts it would be appreciated.

Ran into this amazing short film the other day, hope you all like it. One more note, I’d suggest you watch it in full screen.

World Builder from Bruce Branit on Vimeo.

Hope you all like the video - I sure did.

This entry will make a total of seven posts in seven days. Probably a record for me. It has been an interesting week though.

Anyhow I’ll tell you all a little secret, pretty much all of these posts were written over a day before they were actually posted. See WordPress has a nifty feature were you can schedule posts. In truth it’s actually Saturday as I’m writing this - yet it won’t be seen till Sunday or later.

In other news I came across a blog the other day with a post which basically was informing of the writers ‘death’. The post was pre-written and posted by a friend of the authors. The sad thing is, I looked for some details of who the person was in the real world - and I couldn’t find any. So all that’s left is a screen name and a blog that will supposedly be deleted in the next two weeks (assuming it isn’t some prank).

Still you have to think what happens when a person does die. Especially if they haven’t organised a post about their death. How would anyone know? Due to the internet we can make many friends who we really don’t know. Some of the time they will disappear and you don’t know what happened. Did they move, did they die? How can we tell… the simple answer is we can’t.

All of this got me thinking - should I make my blog more transparent for all those who don’t know me (it isn’t hard to find out). Should I make a ‘death’ post (I really shouldn’t be dying anytime soon though). Another strange (and rather unrelated) thing - it seems most of the blogs I regularly read are written by people 10-30 years older than me.

Why aren’t their more popular blogs written by younger people, or have I just missed them? Or maybe it’s that younger people write more like me. Maybe my generation write personal blogs rather than the humorous blogs I normally read.

The last couple of days some council workers have been doing some work (exact nature of the work is unspecified) near my house. This work involves chainsaws. This may seem unimportant but you have to realise most of my day is spent around the house. So for most of my day I get to hear the roar of chainsaws.

It’s not a consistent roar mind you, they keep starting and stopping. You see the chainsaws are running for about five minutes, then the workers stop for half a minute (or less) and start again. So rather than being a steady monotonous noise I have some ever changing noise (harder to ignore), which I can hear from everywhere in the house. You see all that separates me from the council workers is some trees, some shrubbery and a very small creek.

You know if anybody wants to find a modern day version of Chinese water torture just send them to me. I’ll teach them the horrors of ‘Stop/Start Chainsaw Noise Torture’ known by some as SSCNT but known by most as simply SCNT. This torture method has been found very effective in causing mild anger, frustration, urge to buy earplugs, an urge to soundproof your home completely and more. I believe exposure for more than a week could be fatal - or it could cause a case of psychosis (recent studies have shown that these two symptoms are found in 95% of victims who have had long term exposure).

So if I never post again after this, well. I’ll let you pick from the two before mentioned options.

Well I hope you enjoyed this merge of fiction and reality. If you can’t guess which part is fiction well…
For those who are actually interested apparently SCNT is actually some kind of cloning technique.

Once upon a time in a mystical land called ‘America’ a man awoke. This may not seem like a strange (or even noteworthy) event but there is more to it. You see his ‘estranged’ wife whom he was visiting had handcuffed herself to him in his sleep. She had also changed the locks so that he couldn’t escape. As events unfolded the man called the police, at which point his wife started biting him.

Supposedly she just wanted to talk. I have a suggestion though, next time she wants to talk maybe get a negotiator or mediator. You see either of those two alternatives would be a lot easier than having to deal with being charged for third-degree assault, disorderly conduct, reckless endangerment and unlawful restraint.

If you think im joking just have a listen to the 911 call… here.

I would have embedded the call but Wordpress threw a massive tantrum and kept forcing it to play on page load.

Well that’s about it for this post, if you can find the secret hidden within you can have an imaginary cookie.

Well here it is.

Hope you all enjoyed your dose of xkcd…

- no pun intended.

As some of you may have guessed already, the title of this post is a reference to facebook. For those of you who don’t have facebook I’ll explain the reference. You see recently the social networking site has been getting better and better for stalkers (I’m thinking of one particular reader here, no not as in they’re a stalker but that they don’t have facebook). I mean it’s pretty much impossible not to see nearly everything your friends do - and not just what your friends do but in some cases what friends of friends do as well.

This trend has just been getting worse and worse, see the old layout wasn’t quite as bad. Still the new layout that came out just a little while ago is meant to be more like Twitter I do believe.  I don’t have twitter yet… but from what I know of it, it really is for stalkers. See the idea is that people put up random information about what they’re doing… which other people can ’subscribe’ to. In other words you can get information about people - what they’re doing, where they are and so forth. Delivered straight to you (and countless others) through the internets.

The world these days is just getting too easy for stalkers. I mean in the older days a stalker would of had to do some hard work to find out a lot of what is freely and easily available for almost anybody nowadays. You want to know the solution? We develop skynet from the terminator movies - stop people using computers and hence make stalkers lives a lot more difficult.

For those of you who are questioning whether causing the possible end of mankind (nevermind the death toll) is worth making stalkers lives more difficult. Well… uhhh… no more questions - we’ll deal with that bridge when we cross it.

Do you ever have premonitions that something is a bad idea?

I do.

It’s not always right (the premonition that is) - but it’s not always wrong as well. Just the other day I had such a premonition and as far as I can tell, it was correct. In other news I am a firm believer in that we as humans do have some sort of other sense, whether its just the finer and unnoticeable subtleties of all our other senses working together or something else.

Just one example - applied kinesiology. Have a read up on it, I’m no expert but it is interesting. For those of you who don’t believe it has any merit well that’s your call but personally I know somebody who has been tested by it and it’s been accurate.

I’d go into more detail on other things but nows not the time or the place. On that note - goodbye.

Well here’s a quick entry with not one… but two videos! That’s right two videos.

Yes I know it’s old… but still. It’s great. Look up the actual translation of the German lyrics - they’re a bit different from the English version of the song. In case you were wondering the song is by ‘Nena’.

And now for the second video.

There we have it… hope you’ve enjoyed this. Both the scrubs and the super old German music video.

Welcome to the third easy Thursday… I know so far all of these have been xkcd comics and there’s a reason for that - they’re funny. Enjoy.

Due to the length of this comic I made it smaller - to view it full size simply click on it.