Some of you may know about my paranoia of death, well for those who don’t know I’m telling you now. I’m really quite afraid of dying. That said; recently my school community was rocked by the death of a student. As a senior school we had a rather mournful day, despite the fact that some didn’t know really know the girl who died personally (or the other two people in the accident). This got me thinking about death again (which has been a rather common theme for me… death has inspired quite a few pieces of writing) but more specifically how we respond to it.

From my experiences it’s been based around a simple question. Why. I wan’t to understand the reason for the death, what purpose does it serve (taking this from a Christian perspective)? Its such a bizarre idea that you can see somebody one day and then oh so quickly they can be taken away. One afternoon you could be saying goodbye and then the next day you find out that you will never see that person in this world again.

One other thing that kept sticking in my mind was a piece of poetry I had written on the night of the crash (I wasn’t aware of the events that would occur within 2 or so hours of my writing). This piece of poetry was about death. You see I had the idea in my mind of a pale face of a relatively young woman, serene almost but with one small disturbance a slowly spreading pool of blood (a one line exert “A pale cheek - red blood.” ). It really made me think… I seem to envision all of these dark occurrences but never do I truly realise the full effects of them. If I saw the whole picture every time I wrote a ‘darkish’ piece of writing - I think I’d have to stop.

Anyhow, I do hope that the girls family (and all the other people involved) can find good from this hard time… if we don’t try then it really is a depressing world.

Well i’m currently sitting on a stool, in a coffee shop… in beijing - and its fantastic.

Saw the opening ceremony last night (alongside another 90,000 or so people) and it was truly spectacular. The amount of work that would have been put into it is phenomenal…

On that note my time is up. Expect more updates when I get the chance and hopefully a more detailed recount when I return… including information on my 24 hour day (with about 13 hours of it in the air).

You know one problem with this blog is that I’m not entirely free in what I write. You see people who I know read this and hence anything I say isn’t protected by the anonymity of the internet (which isn’t really that anonymous). However i’ve been thinking… so here goes. I’m going to be frank and write freely. Getting to the point i’ve been musing over how some people seem to ‘click’ with the opposite gender. They somehow have this knowledge or comfort with the opposite sex that other don’t, granted most people have this to an extent. Yet i’m talking about those who really have it.

I’m one of the people who doesn’t really have it. Naturally I find it rather intriguing, I can’t help but wonder what it would be like. What gives people this confidence? What is it exactly that makes girls comfortable around a guy and vice versa. Of course this is all from my perspective, so i’m going to stop mentioning the female side of my views… simply cause I don’t have them.

Kind of changing track here, something else that I find ‘intriguing’ are certain people who seem to be full of life. While writing this I have a specific person on my mind but I doubt that she’d ever read this and if they did what of it? You see i’m a quiet, shy, reserved person yet there are these spontaneous, energetic, fast paced people. At this point I wonder again what would it be like to be like that. If I wasn’t this semi reclusive boy who isn’t too great in social situations or making new friends (especially with the opposite gender) and instead I was one of these other people?

In the last few days i’ve had the chance to kind of see a small part of life this way. It looks fun, makes me kind of wish I was like that or had more close friends like that but I don’t really so ah well. Life goes on. Maybe one day I will find myself more like these people that I see, then again maybe I won’t. If you’ve gotten this far… well I hope you don’t think im a sociopath and if you think you’ve been talked about in here well… eh.

Sorry for the wall of text, I really should include some graphics to break up the black and white eyesore. So all of you know… if somehow I have caused offence please realise nothing was meant by it (I don’t see anything really offensive but just in case). As i’ve said in other posts, im really not that weird; i’m just some quiet (slightly desperate… I find it sad that I realise this but seem unable to change it) guy.

You can blame this ramble on study camp… no really.

Now in the interest of keeping this blog alive I’ve decided to write a whole new entry (CPR didn’t work too well). You see I told myself that I’d write more entries during the holidays but at this stage im already over a week in and nothing has been done. That’s procrastination for you.

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The other night the film King Arthur was on TV. I was watching it like your average movie watcher and I started thinking… why is life always more spectacular in the films? Where are all those meaningful moments and beautiful people that are constantly plastered into the minds of anybody who watches a movie?

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I really am sorry for being so inactive, I could blame it all on school and the pressures of year 12… but the real reason is I just couldn’t think of anything even vaguely funny to write about. Even when I had a slightly funny idea I just never ended up writing it…

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Well well, seeming as I have no time management this blog which is slightly related to Easter is late. I’m sure this irrelevant piece of information hasn’t changed the fact that you respect me (hopefully) and don’t want to see me dead (see first bracket) - but don’t worry by the end of this blog that’ll be very very different. You see me and some ‘friends’ went to the Sydney Royal Easter Show… and it all went downhill from there.

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Well well, another blog. Seeing as yet again I have nothing really to write about I’ll tell the whole world about my friends 18th Birthday party. The party was meant to be a poker party - more specifically texas holdem. As you can probably guess it didn’t end out that way. In the whole night we played maybe four or so rounds… people kept on going all in.

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Well, just recently I downloaded Audacity. Very few people know that (believe it or not) I sing sometimes. Most of the time this ’singing’ is going with the music that I’m listening to on my iPod - but sometimes (this is pretty rare) to lyrics of my own…
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Well one of my friends had a very important ‘lets celebrate you being one year closer to dying’ days (also commonly known as a birthday). Well you see he turned 18. Now he can enjoy the privilege of being an ‘adult’ and being able to go off and buy alcohol. Also he can say get cigarettes with ease, get married (without parental consent), get a credit card, get treated like an adult when you break the law and even vote. Seems quite a bit to just dump on somebodies lap all at once - personally I liked being treated as a juvenile by the court system, I think i’ll miss that one… Read more