WorldOfIllusion

The last couple of days some council workers have been doing some work (exact nature of the work is unspecified) near my house. This work involves chainsaws. This may seem unimportant but you have to realise most of my day is spent around the house. So for most of my day I get to hear the roar of chainsaws.

It’s not a consistent roar mind you, they keep starting and stopping. You see the chainsaws are running for about five minutes, then the workers stop for half a minute (or less) and start again. So rather than being a steady monotonous noise I have some ever changing noise (harder to ignore), which I can hear from everywhere in the house. You see all that separates me from the council workers is some trees, some shrubbery and a very small creek.

You know if anybody wants to find a modern day version of Chinese water torture just send them to me. I’ll teach them the horrors of ‘Stop/Start Chainsaw Noise Torture’ known by some as SSCNT but known by most as simply SCNT. This torture method has been found very effective in causing mild anger, frustration, urge to buy earplugs, an urge to soundproof your home completely and more. I believe exposure for more than a week could be fatal - or it could cause a case of psychosis (recent studies have shown that these two symptoms are found in 95% of victims who have had long term exposure).

So if I never post again after this, well. I’ll let you pick from the two before mentioned options.

Well I hope you enjoyed this merge of fiction and reality. If you can’t guess which part is fiction well…
For those who are actually interested apparently SCNT is actually some kind of cloning technique.